Dare to be great! 8 steps to achieving my life dream

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We all have lofty goals and dreams for what we hope transpires in the new year.

Truth: few will ever commit 100% to make them happen.

Truth: few are willing to risk failure and commit every spare moment to make those dreams a reality.

What are you going to do to make your goals a reality? If your life drastically changed next week, would you be able to say that you had truly committed everything to achieving your dreams – no regrets? I can. My goal going into each year is to be able to say without hesitation that if my working/athletic career came to an end, I have no regrets. I gave it my all.

One shot

In 2012, I achieved a life goal – competing in the Ironman World Championship(2.4mile swim, 112 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run, all in 10hr 45min). Just finishing an Ironman in the allotted 17 hours has never been a goal of mine. However, finishing in the top echelon amongst the world’s best was. I wanted to finish in the top 50% at the World Championships – only 1900 out of 90,000 are even invited to compete. On paper it seems doable. But…

What if you couldn’t sweat on 1/3 of your body and couldn’t quit sweating on the other 2/3 of your body – burn scars over 65% of my body make regulating body temperature in extreme heat a challenge.

What if you suffered severe dehydration and urinated blood before you even ran the marathon portion in every hot race in the past – and this race would be even hotter?

How did I finish in the top 50% of the World’s hardest one day endurance event? I relied on the wisdom of the notorious Marshall Bruce Mathers III, rapper Eminem:

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted. One moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip?”

Like the movie 8 Mile, I knew I had just one shot, one opportunity to seize everything I ever wanted. Some called me crazy (co-workers, peers, even family members), but I knew what it would take and refused to let the naysayers deter me. I also knew this was God’s plan for my life.

8 steps to achieving a lifetime dream:

  1. I sat down with my wife and mapped out what it would take to transform my body into peak fitness (20-25 hours a week in addition to working a full time job). Luckily, my wife was an active part of my past Ironman races and knew this was a life goal. She knew I was committed to making it a reality. You’re insane if you don’t think a supportive spouse has a huge impact on your success. Goals require a FAMILY commitment. To make up for the long 6-7 hour Saturday workouts, I gladly served her breakfast in bed Sunday and Monday mornings.
  2. I contacted every major triathlon manufacturer of equipment I used and asked for their support. I told them my story of getting burned, being told I’d never play sports again and how I was racing in the Ironman World Championships and was going to train like a Pro… and hopefully have all the advantages the Pros have (i.e. great equipment). Surprisingly, many gladly supported my cause (Newton Running, Trek Bicycles, Under Armour, Louis Garneau, CompuTrainer, First Endurance nutrition, Kill Cliff recovery drink).
  3. I spent 5 months calculating my sweat rate at specific heart rates (race pace). I weighed myself 5x a day for those 5 months (when I woke, before a workout, after a workout, at lunch and when I went to bed) and I measured how much water I consumed during workouts. I precisely calculated my sweat rate at 5lbs per hour at race pace in race heat conditions.
  4. I engaged a local nutritionist to review my caloric intake and water loss to determine how much fluid, electrolytes and calories would be needed for me to race at maximum effort without shutting my body down. What’s crazy is she did it for free when I shared my dream with her – thanks so much Mari-Etta Parrish!
  5. Based on my desired fluid intake, I’d have to drink 4 gallons during the race. To do so, I trained my stomach to absorb 1.5 liters of fluid every hour for 10 hours. Drinking this much water for this period of time while exercising is not normal. It took over 3 months of training my stomach to process this much fluid without feeling bloated. Painful but necessary process.
  6. I consumed race nutrition for every workout for 4 months leading up to the race. I wanted to make sure my stomach could handle the necessary calories and not have any adverse reactions. I ate the same thing for breakfast almost every morning for those 4 months – 2 frozen blueberry waffles and a cup of Starbucks coffee. I also ate the same thing every night before my big 7hr training workouts – Little Caesars pepperoni pizza. Call me boring, but I wanted no surprises.
  7. Based on my heavy sweat rate, I had to train my body to sweat less if I wanted to maintain the race intensity. I spent the last 3 weeks of training doing 1hr each morning and each night of heat acclimation. I would heat my workout room in my house to 100 degrees, put on thermal underwear, sweat suit, toboggan, gloves and ride my bike. It was miserably hot but I eventually learned to block it out and enjoy the time. When I traveled for work, I carried a floor heater, my racing bike and my CompuTrainer (indoor bike trainer). I would then heat my hotel room to 100 degrees, layer up and pedal away. I always got lots of stares in the hotel… if they only knew.
  8. Lastly and equally important, I engaged all of my friends in my journey and openly asked for their help. They not only helped; they jumped at the chance to be a part of my story. One of my best friends (Brian Feeney) not only designed my race kit, but he also flew to Kona to cheer me on. Another friend (Chris Stalcup) donated an entire weekend of his film crew to make a series of promotional videos to help me raise money. A high school friend (Jimmy Powers) called to say he could get his PR firm to assist. Another high school friend (Matt Caldwell) stepped up to be a major sponsor (Caldwell Insulation) featured on my race kit. A man I had met at Starbucks in Atlanta (Joel Shapiro of Timbervest) introduced me to Kill Cliff and collectively they were my biggest sponsors. Sheryl Crow, the singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow, contacted me and actively promoted my story on her Facebook page. Countless friends bought my fundraising shirts and made personal donations to support my cause. I was simply blown away by the generosity of everyone. Just think, none of these things would have happened had I played it safe and not committed 100% to making my dream a reality.

What will this year be for you?

Will it be another year of doing what you’ve done every year and praying that by a sheer miracle you achieve something life changing?

If you truly commit to making a difference, you can make it the GAME CHANGER YEAR, the Year you redefined what was possible. May this year bring you prosperity. But more importantly, may it bring you a greater recognition of your abilities and the courage to pursue them with complete freedom and confidence that you can do anything.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

The year of tough decisions. Take the beating now, 2 simple steps

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The year of tough decisions. Would you be willing to commit your year to making all the tough decisions in your life if you knew the following year could be a game changer? We all have hard decisions in life to make (leaving our job of 10 years to get promoted, selling our beloved home to move to a better school district, postpone vacations to pay off credit cards, lose 40 lbs. to be healthy again) but we usually postpone these year after year convincing ourselves that things will just work out. Guess what, they rarely do on their own. And if and when they do work out, it’s rarely the outcome we wanted. I have learned that if I just take my beating now, make the decisions no one wants to make but I know need to be made if I am to provide for my family, I will reap the benefits in the years to come. 2011 is my personal case study in how committing one year to making all the tough decisions weighing me down changed my life forever.

Like others, I look forward to every New Year with thoughts of prosperity and achieving new goals. Thoughts of changing the quality of life for my family and realizing a state of self-actualization. 2011 was no different.

Background so you can appreciate the difficulty of the 3 tough decisions.

We (my wife and 3 kids under 5) were living in downtown Atlanta in historic Grant Park. We had lived in this house for 10 years and were featured on the Grant Park Tour of homes several times. We had great neighbors and loved the urban lifestyle and walkability– neighborhood restaurants, Braves games, Zoo Atlanta and Grant Park. As the receccesion of 2008 materialized over 2009 and 2010, our neighborhood began to feel the impact with crime rising to an all-time high. Smash and grabs (kicking in a door to grab your flat screen TV) were a daily occurrence in broad daylight, 2 rapes and 1 fatal shooting, all within 1 mile of our house. In conjunction, I had sold my company to a private equity firm and was bound by a 3 year noncompete and had secured a new job in property and casualty insurance sales as a way to reinvent myself. Selling insurance was not on my list of careers I thought worthy of my MBA, but it offered a way to provide a good living for my family and I couldn’t help but think God had placed this opportunity in my life for a reason. A reason unknown to me but I had faith and have always believed the key to being successful is taking each day as it comes and committing to make the best of every situation. I knew something had to be done quickly about our living situation as I could never live with myself if anything happened to my family as a result of doing nothing. It was Christmas 2010, our house had been on the market for 9 months with no offers despite the $90,000 drop in sales price. Knowing what needed to be done, I dedicated 2011 as the “Year of Tough Decisions.” I was going to make every hard decision that was preventing me from achieving the life I wanted for me and my family.

Tough Decision #1: Move and move now

Knowing we had to move and move quickly, we didn’t have the luxury of waiting for our house to sell and buying another. We also didn’t have the means to buy a 2nd house and carry 2 house notes. The only option we had was to move our entire crew to live with my mother-in-law in Franklin, TN (suburb of Nashville – country music capital of the World). On paper it made sense. My mother-in-law had 4 empty bedrooms and had been widowed since early 2008. Living with her also gave us the option to short sell our house, eventually losing the $130,000 of equity and actually writing a check when all was said and done. Trust me, besides kissing $130,000 goodbye, living with your mother-in-law is not what a 36 year father of 3 wants and definitely not something he wants his friends to know about. Call it ego, but I take pride in providing for my family and take it personally if I can’t give them the basic necessities in life. As I discussed with my wife over several weeks, we agreed it was the right thing to do although it would be extremely hard; hard for everybody. We knew we’d be uprooting our kids from their friends, leaving our friends behind as well, and essentially trading in our urban living for the traditional suburban living we had loathed for the past 10 years. With ego in check, we loaded the moving van and moved to Franklin, TN. Oh, we were also pregnant with kid #4 too.

Tough Decision #2: Find a new job

Moving to Franklin greatly impacted my sales prospecting for Q1 of 2011, which I and my boss knew it would. I was splitting my time between Franklin and Atlanta. As part of agreement to continue my employment during the relocation, I agreed to drive to Atlanta every 2 weeks and spend 3 days in the market working my existing Atlanta pipeline. When in town, I would rotate staying on the couches of friends to avoid incurring any hotel expenses. I had rented a small office in Franklin and had quickly joined Rotary and various organizations to establish credibility in the community. 3 months into the business plan, my employer reduced my salary 35% despite the previous commitment to supporting the middle TN market building for the entire year. With kid #4 only 6 weeks away, this was devastating news but exactly what I needed. Although this was exactly the push I needed, it was not part of my plan. I had met some amazing people in Franklin but stayed loyal to my employer knowing they had supported me on the move. It was a leap of faith on their part and I wanted to be true to my commitment. With the big pay cut and providing for my family at risk, the gloves were off and I was hell bent to find a new job and never looking back.

I spent 6 months researching, prospecting and interviewing for a new job/career. I was careful not to jump ship for promise of a greener pasture without thoroughly doing my homework and knowing it was the right move. I told a few employers my income goal for year 3 and I couldn’t get the math in their business plan to support my goal so I kept looking (many questioned why I was not jumping at the chance to work with them). I not only found a new job; I found a new career and a new me. I was able to leverage my property and casualty experience into healthcare and secure a sales position with a technology company that focused on Workers’ Compensation (WC) reimbursements for Healthcare Providers. In short, they use their proprietary software to ensure hospitals are paid 100% of what insurance companies owe them for treating injured workers. Their focus on WC has been an industry game changer and I feel fortunate to have been part of that journey.

The joke in Nashville is there are only 2 types of jobs: music and healthcare. I couldn’t sing or play music so that left only healthcare. Never in a million years would I have dreamed selling insurance would prepare me for healthcare. But that’s the beauty of God’s plan. We don’t have the wisdom to see or even understand his plan but if we truly have faith, it will bring us riches beyond our dreams. With new career in hand, I meet my year 3 income goal by end of year 2 and exceed my old Year 3 goal by 38% by end of 2013. And now I ask myself, why I didn’t do this sooner.

Tough Decision #3: Find a good home for our Mastiff

We are big time animal lovers, often to our detriment. In college I had spent my summer savings to get my dog 3 root canals. Who even knew they did root canals for dogs. For my entire 40 years of existence on this planet, only 4 years have I not had a dog in my life. When my beloved German shepherd (Harley) was nearing his retirement, we were advised to get a new dog with the wisdom being it would help spark new life in Harley and help the new pup learn the rules. With crime ramping up in our neighborhood, we wanted another German shepherd so badly but knew we didn’t have the time these highly motivated dogs require. After counseling with others, we decided to get an English mastiff. We wanted a large dog to scare off potential intruders but also one that was great with kids. Being one that does his homework and takes no decision lightly, I found the perfect brindle English mastiff. The dog’s father was an astounding 260 lbs. and the breeder was reputable. A small fortune and last minute warnings issued, we were on our way to mastiff ownership. The dog (Tug), rather a small pony, was a dream and perfect for our kids. 6 months into his life he was diagnosed with a rare genetic leg deformity. Tug’s rear legs spiraled in, forcing him to walk like a duck and unable to jump, climb stairs or even run. We spent another small fortune taking him to an orthopedic surgeon only to learn there was no treatment. Not only was there no treatment, but he stressed repeatedly the kids could not hang on Tug and get him excited (watching him try to run was tear jerking). I called the breeder for her thoughts and she offered to take Tug back and give us another puppy in return (basically disclosing Tug would be put down if we returned him). Needless to say, that was not something we could live with. We spent the next 6 months doing our best to keep the kids off Tug and limiting his movements which became increasingly difficult as my wife’s pregnancy impacted her cat like reflexes. Committing myself to do what needed to be done and yet what no one wanted to do, I contacted the Mastiff Rescue Society and mapped out with them a plan to find Tug the perfect home – a home with no steps, no small children that would try to ride him like a pony (he was now 170 lbs.), and one that knew the full price of mastiff ownership (constant drool, 40 lbs. of dog food/week, etc…). With their help, we found a family that had recently lost their mastiff, had 3 teenage boys and lived in a 1-story ranch home.

With my wife and kids gone to see a movie, I arranged for Tug to move to his new home. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I was conflicted. On one hand, I knew it was best for Tug and would allow him to walk unassisted longer without the kids prematurely crippling him inadvertently through their roughhousing play. On the other hand, I knew my kids would be devastated and my wife and I would feel guilty, feel like we got rid of Tug because he was physically challenged even though that was the furthest thing from the truth. The more I thought about it and prayed for guidance, the more I resolved to doing the right thing and dealing with the consequences. Truth be known, had I made this decision when the surgeon first advised me of the dangers of Tug living with small children, things would have been so much easier. 6 months after I made the tough decision, the kids were completely self-absorbed with their new school and extracurricular activities. My wife was consumed with the care of Eskew #4 and I was committed to making my new career a big success.

As 2011 closed out, I had no regrets. Well, just one regret. I regret I didn’t make these tough decisions earlier and had waited until I was pushed into a corner. On reflection of my handling of these matters, it can be boiled down to:

  1. I committed to take action on every hard decision in my life and resolved to accept the consequences for those actions, for better or worse. The key was I took action and refused to let someone or something determine my future.
  2. I committed not to make excuses for not big successful and not to blame anyone else for my current situation. I was the one to blame in 2011 for my 35% pay cut. Had I done everything in my power to be successful, I could have impacted the conversation with my employer differently.

The decisions I made were not easy and brought much pain, anguish, guilt and even thoughts of 2nd guessing. I stayed the course and knew I couldn’t compromise my belief or resolve to do what needed to be done. We all know what needs to be done but most of us don’t have the belief in ourselves to make them. If we believe that failure is not an option and we will do whatever it takes to make the best of a bad situation, we will experience a life we never thought possible. Dare to make the tough decisions today!

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Pain is essential to growth! It only hurts when you stop

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Why do we go to great lengths to avoid pain when it often brings us our greatest accomplishments? I never won a sports championship without enduring years of pain, sweat and hard work.

Why do we teach our kids pain results from doing bad things? Hard work is painful and there’s a reason people become professionals in their sport/trade – they’re willing to do what others are not.

Why do our doctors automatically write us prescriptions when we complain of pain? We adapt to pain and pain is often our body’s adaptation process to handle larger workloads.

Why do we try to console those who complain of pain? Pain helps us appreciate joy even more. If you want to find the most appreciative people in the world look for those who have truly suffered.

I am a firm believer pain is my friend and with him comes opportunity. I believe that by seeking out those opportunities where pain is a guarantee (sales, Ironman, having 5 children), I am automatically positioning myself to succeed and weeding out those who are scared to test themselves. I believe that if I’m going to make an impression and try to be the best, utilize 100% of my talents, I have to put myself out there and accept uncertainty. One needs no more proof than to read Ernest Shackleton’s job post for his 1914 expedition to cross Antarctica, from Sea to Sea (see below). He had over 3,000 applicants and his journey is often celebrated as the greatest adventure of all time.

Make no mistake, his men endured unfathomable physical and mental pain, but not one of them died. I guarantee none of them would take back that experience if given the opportunity. Think about it, the things that we love and cherish the most required the hardest work and pain – sports victories, job promotion, marriage …. I don’t ever recall celebrating and bragging to others when an opportunity just fell in my lap as of no result of my efforts or another team forfeited. To the contrary, we all love telling the story of walking to school barefoot in the snow, up the hill both ways. Admit it, we all have benefited from past pain experiences and relish sharing those stories.

Pain as a prerequisite to opportunity

As someone who is no stranger to pain, I often seek out those opportunities and experiences where pain is a prerequisite. In one year I raced the World’s hardest Ironman, World’s Hardest Ironman 70.3 and World’s Hardest ITU Long Course triathlon. I’m not a masochist. I simply wanted to prove to myself that mentally and physically I had what it took to not only finish these events but also to be competitive and place in the top 10. Despite my best efforts, the best I did was 7th in the Ironman 70.3. In the Ironman, everything that could have went wrong did. I suffered migraine headaches the entire week leading up to race day. I lost over half my nutrition during the race and was urinating blood before I even started the World’s toughest Ironman marathon leg. Guess what? I ddidn’tquit and I finished. My marathon time was only 13 minutes off my normal pace (still sub 4hrs). I still celebrate this victory even though it was my slowest Ironman time ever. And the ITU Long Course event? On paper it was an utter failure. I finished 5th from last. But what my time doesn’t reflect is the fact I had to ride 35 miles on a flat tire and then run 6 miles bare foot (42 degrees outside) pushing my bike up the 3 biggest hills on the bike course. And after that, I still had to run 18.5 miles on the World’s toughest Long Course run leg. Maybe some would be disappointed to go from hopes of placing top 10 to finishing 5th from last. I was at peace (obviously a little disappointed that I didn’t have the race I wanted). But most importantly, I reaffirmed there was NO WAY I’d not finish a race. Surprisingly enough, that performance earned me a cover story in the USA Triathlon magazine. Who in their wildest dreams would have thought that? Definitely not the fans watching me run while pushing my bike and the one sole who was supposed to call my wife and tell her I’d be late but instead told her I was ‘done’ – quit and out of the race. Luckily she knew better.

I have found that the greatest obstacles provide the greatest rewards. I truly believe doing things others are scared to do for fear of failure will separate those comfortable with being ‘average’ from those who want to be ‘extraordinary’. Being normal isn’t bad, it’s just not what drives me. Being extraordinary means accepting there are no guarantees of success but failure is not an option – EVER! Failure only occurs when I give up and quit. Not hitting my goal is not a failure either. My goals are usually much higher than others and I understand they are just that – GOALS. If I hit my goals every month or every year, would they truly be GOALS or just EXPECTATIONS? The people we remember and celebrate are those that encountered obstacle after obstacle but refused to quit.

I take pride in John Wayne’s description of courage: “courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” It’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to tell others you’re scared. If you weren’t scared I’d be concerned. With time and experience, you embrace being scared and channel that energy into action, achieving things you previously thought were unattainable. In life, as in business, there is a direct correlation between risk and reward. Those that are scared to get out of their comfort zone and risk uncertainty, will rarely experience all that life has to offer. Despite what some think, predictability is not always a desired outcome.

The interesting thing about pain is it only hurts when you stop. As long as you are in motion, you don’t feel it and your body just adapts. The brain has a crazy means of adapting to hardship to protect ourselves. Once we do hard things over and over, the brain convinces our bodies that this is the new ‘status quo’ and we forget how things used to be. If you want to have an impactful life, one that makes you feel complete and purposeful, seek out those things that will really test you. Don’t pick opportunities or sporting events where no effort is required. Pick those where you know it will take everything you got to get the job done and pain is a guarantee. With pain comes growth and with growth comes satisfaction.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Thank you Hershel Walker and Dale Murphy! How they gave me HOPE

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Thank you Hershel Walker and Dale Murphy. But also a special thank you to Jeff Van Note, William Andrews, Al Richardson, the 1982 Sugar Bowl Champion Georgia Bulldogs and the entire Atlanta Braves. All of these amazing athletes learned of my story through renowned sports caster Ernie Johnson Jr, who had just returned to Atlanta as a news reporter and ran a feature on me getting burned.

32 years later these guys probably have no clue how their simple act of sending me a signed autograph provided healing power. 1982 – I distinctly remember lying on my back for a month at the Shriner’s Hospital for Children, staring up at these autographs almost every waking minute (had a piece of Plexiglass suspended above me that displayed all my ‘get well soon’ cards). I loved sports like any 8 year old and dreamed one day of playing in the NFL, breaking tackles like Hershel Walker and William Andrews. I dreamed of chasing fly balls in the outfield like Dale Murphy, cracking home runs like Bob Horner or turning double plays like Glenn Hubbard.

The power of hope

Although I was confined to my bed due to my injury, (all the skin harvested from both legs to repair the severe burns to my upper body, unable to use my right arm or turn my neck) I remember thinking how lucky I was to have all these star athletes send me their autograph. That’s the joy of being a kid. We are easily distracted to believe in the power of positive thinking, to believe that anything is possible. I truly believed I could defy all odds and resume my athletic prowess. We so easily underestimate the power of HOPE, the power of giving a kid a reason to believe. Kids are moldable. Their shapeable minds can believe without quantifiable proof (cynicism comes with age). They believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Elf on the Shelf without proof of their existence. Imagine if we trained them all to believe they could overcome any obstacle they will ever encounter if they just focus on doing their best and refuse to believe in failure. Imagine if we taught them sacrifice and hard work produce results and that success doesn’t happen over night. Imagine if we taught them failure only occurs when you refuse to try again.

When I got out of the hospital, I immediately pinned each one of these autographs to my bulletin board on the wall next to my bed. These autographs staid affixed to that bulletin board until I left for college. Every day I would read these autographs and remind myself of my dream… to become a great athlete. It was a long road to recovery but we, parents included, focused on daily victories that would get me back in the game. 32 years later, I still look at these autographs to remind myself of where I was, where I am today and that anything is truly possible with hard work and the resolve to never quit.

Goal # 1: resume 3rd grade.

2 weeks after discharge I returned to school to finish the 3rd grade. We were told it would be 2 months before the open wounds would heal and returning to school was not recommended – physical and emotional reasons. Let’s be honest. Kids can be cruel, especially when you see a kid with jaw dropping scars and bandaged like a mummy. Luckily we never listen. My mom picked me up from school every day at lunch, wiped away my tears, took me home, gave me a whirlpool salt bath, bandaged all my open wounds, returned me to school to finish my day and assured me things would get better. I finished the third grade with all my peers – straight A’s. I don’t know how we did it, but we did. I guess that was the key. We never stopped to think how are we going to do it…we just did it. We knew that was our only choice…failure was not an option.

Goal #2: resume baseball.

2 months after discharge I returned to little league baseball. I couldn’t lift my right arm higher than 90 degrees, but I was able to throw the ball side armed. With an understanding coach, my dad of course, I played second base to minimize the throwing distance to ensure my throws could make it to 1st without a bounce. I didn’t make the All Star team, but I did play every game and never received any special accommodations. The same rules for everyone applied to me. That’s how I have always wanted to be treated…just like every other kid.

Goal #3: resume football:

7 months after discharge I returned to little league football. Football was always my favorite sport but a major risk because I had no nerves in my right shoulder, arm and top of my back. I still have no nerves everywhere I suffered 3rd degree burns. The fear was I could sustain a deep cut without ever feeling it and suffer major bleeding. I also couldn’t sweat on 1/3 of my body, making body temp regulation a challenge with all the equipment. Throwing caution to the wind, I suited up and took the field. My dad customized my shoulder pads to provide extra padding – I didn’t have any fat tissue on my right arm or shoulder. I never received one game ball but I never missed a game or a practice. I did the same drills as every other player and truly felt like part of the team.

Goal #4: excel at sports:

3 years after discharge I found God’s gift for me. I had lost the physical ability to be competitive in sports that required touch and finesse (i.e. golf, basketball, tennis). However, I found I had a pain threshold greater than normal kids and I knew God had a bigger plan for my life. By fate, I was introduced to wrestling, a sport where I could compete against other boys my age and my weight, a sport where pain was guaranteed. What I learned was the sport often rewarded not the best athlete, but the best competitor, the one who could go the hardest the longest. By the time I finished high school, I had set our school record for the most pins in a season and qualified as an All-American, finishing 2nd in state. Even greater, our wrestling team had won the State Championships all 4 years while I was in high school, 3 of which I had played a major part.

In short, athletes have special gifts that go beyond the playing field. When used properly, they have the gift to inspire and create hope. At the end of the day, HOPE is what powers us to achieve our dreams. HOPE is what allows us to ignore the naysayers and push through the pain. HOPE is what allows us to ignore conventional wisdom and redefine what’s possible. What we learn on the playing field carries over to our workplace and home. It is our duty in life to give others HOPE when they need it most. It doesn’t cost a penny, just a little of your time.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Are we too old to pursue dreams? The Iron Nun says NO!

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Are we too old to pursue dreams? The Iron Nun begs to differ. You don’t know the infamous Iron Nun? Sister Madonna Buder is an 83-year old Ironman triathlete who holds the distinction as being the oldest woman to complete an Ironman – a 2.4 mile open water swim with 2,000 of your closest friends, followed by a nondrafting 112 mile bike ride with a 26.2 mile marathon to finish it off, all within 17 hours. Sister Madonna started competing in Ironman at the ripe age of 55, an age when many are considering retirement options and dreaming of playing multiple rounds of golf during the work week. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Sister Madonna at multiple triathlon races; her personality and spirit just radiate life. I’ll never forget her comment at the prerace dinner at the 2012 Ironman World Championships when asked why she was still racing. “I couldn’t let the men go unchecked (referring to Lew Hollander, 82 year old male racing). Someone had to represent the women.” Can you imagine your grandmother talking trash? That was AWESOME! I want to be competitive like Sister Madonna when I get that age. How many 83 year old people would be happy just to walk around the mall, much less complete one of the hardest one day endurance events in the World?

Pursuing our dreams

As kids, we all had dreams and everyone encouraged us to pursue them. I wanted to be a professional athlete and play for the Steelers – loved Mean Joe Greene. We were asked constantly “What do you want be when you grow up? What are your dreams?” Many of us had posters in our rooms that said “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them – Walt Disney.” If pursuing dreams were so important as a kid why do we suddenly abandon those pursuits when we graduate college, get married or have children? Who said achieving those milestones and pursuing your dreams are mutually exclusive? Why can’t we have our cake and eat it too? I believe we can if we have the dedication to commit and the perseverance to make it happen. We should pursue our dreams even if we will never hit them.

It is the pursuit that motivates us, gives us the energy and zest to welcome the challenges of each day.

We all know paychecks don’t always make us happy, although they sure help relieve stress. How much more complete would your life be if you were successful at work and pursued childhood dreams at the same time?

We all have excuses and that’s just what they are. I didn’t say it would be easy but I guarantee it will show you a life you never imagined possible. If there’s one thing I love about Ironman it’s that everyone has a story and you meet some of the most inspirational people in the world. Rajesh Durbal is definitely one of those people. He was born missing bones in both legs and partially developed in one arm. At the age of 1, both legs were amputated, rendering him a triple amputee. It didn’t stop Raj. At the age of 30, he became the first triple amputee to complete an Ironman and beat many full bodied athletes. He is a competitor at heart and you can see in his smile that he is pursuing his dreams daily. Don’t even get me started on the Dick and Rick Hoyt story. If you need motivation, just look around. They’re out there every day beating the pavement, making their dreams come true.

I have always been competitive in sports but I too gave into the worldly belief that I had to sacrifice everything to be successful at work. My fitness morphed even further after getting married and having kids. I had a great excuse… I was busy. Who isn’t? I was busy… busy wasting time that could be diverted to feeding the competitive spirit I craved and the completeness from pursuing something bigger. I can personally attest that my life has never been the same since I completed my first Ironman. I am in better shape at 40 than I was at 22 – I weigh less now that I did at 19 (we won’t talk about hair lines). I am more successful at work now than ever and feel the secrets of success have slowly been revealed the more I pursue my dreams. I have made some tradeoffs to achieve my triathlon goals (mainly tv) but my marriage of 11 years and 5 kids have never been sacrificed. I get up every morning at 4am and complete my workouts before work and during lunch breaks. I keep a workout bag in my trunk and never turn down 20 minutes to work out. I also travel 2-3 days a week for work and have never found a hotel I couldn’t get in a solid workout.

We’re never too old… anything is possible! Did I mention I have never beat my 60 year friend in a triathlon? He is #1 in his age group in the World though. My goal is to beat him before he turns 83.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

The power of changing ONE HABIT… I lost 40 pounds, tripled my income, and became a competitive triathlete

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Situation: 30 pounds overweight, working 60 hours/week, 1 income and job in jeopardy, 2 kids under 2, barely “making ends meet”, stress extremely high, “too busy” to work out and often feeling overwhelmed.

Situation sound familiar? What if changing ONE HABIT could alter your life forever… in a good way? What if by changing one habit you could trigger a series of other small life changing events, which in and of themselves seem frivolous, yet collectively they enable you to achieve previously unattainable goals? What if you learned over 40% of your day was comprised of HABITS, performing thoughtless actions, daily rituals?

According to a 2006 Duke University paper nearly half of our day is consumed with actions requiring no decision making whatsoever, just a series of habits that occur like clockwork – completely autonomous. These habits involve everything from eating breakfast to brushing your teeth to exercising to taking coffee breaks at work.  We all agree we’re inclined to be creatures of habit… but rarely do we take the time to evaluate these habits and decide which ones should be modified to improve our quality of life. Make a list of your daily habits and decide which ONE HABIT, just one, if modified, could set off a series of smaller life impacting actions.

In 2008 I decided to change ONE HABIT

I was 34, happily married with 2 small kids but just couldn’t seem to get ahead. I didn’t like the physical shape I had regressed to and my constant making of excuses of “I’m too busy” or “some things came up at work today” was wearing on my psyche.

That’s just what they were…excuses that in turn morphed into self-fulfilling prophesies.   As I looked around, I saw daily reminders others had figured out the age old mystery of time management and GSD – getting shi*@ done. I knew there had to be a better way than battling the clock every morning… scrambling to eat breakfast, saying good morning to the kids, getting a shower, rushing to work… I knew something had to change and it had to involve getting up earlier.

My commitment to changing ONE HABIT began with a gradual progression to getting up at 4am, 2 hours earlier than what I had been doing for the past 5 years of marriage. I understood more than most the key to making lifestyle changes is to be narrowly focused – the brain can’t handle too many changes at once.

I also knew this transition couldn’t take place overnight if I wanted it to become sustainable. Additionally, I soon learned getting up super early and being productive would require a series of other actions, lifestyle trade-offs, to enable me to have balance and a sense of accomplishment.

The smaller actions are essential as they can eat up big blocks of time: going to bed earlier, laying out work clothes the night before, eating dinner before 6:30pm, committing to a predefined workout plan and making sure I knew what commitments I had for the upcoming week.

Baby steps

I spent the first 2 months getting up at 5am and going to bed 1 hour earlier (previously 11pm or later, depending on when I felt I was caught up on emails). With the extra hour in the morning, I committed to using the time for exercise and enrolled in a fitness bootcamp class. Little did I know the instructor, Henry Forrest, was one of the original Ironmen from 1978 and a former Marine drill instructor who would fuel my passion for triathlons. Over the next 3 months I proved it was possible to get up at 5am and not be completely drained by mid-afternoon.  To the contrary, I felt energized and had a little extra spring in my step.  I walked into the office every morning at 8am ready to take on the world.  I had a sense of purpose and was mentally mapping out everything I had to get done to deem the day a success.

As 3 months morphed into 6 months, I weaned myself down to getting up at 4am.  On the flip side, I had also mastered going to bed by 9pm, relinquishing unread emails to the following morning or work day.  I decided to use the gift of an additional hour in the morning as “me time.” 4am-5am consisted of drinking coffee and reading with 15 minutes set aside to pound out a few emails.  The beauty of sending emails at 4am is no one is going to respond and eat up your time.  When they walk into their office at 8am you’re the 1st email in their inbox.  If they do respond, then consider yourself lucky as you have their undivided attention.

The 1 hour of “me time” allows me to mentally prepare for the day but more importantly it allows me to start the day under my terms. 

I’m setting the tone for how my day will go.  I am reading something inspirational, drinking great coffee and training my brain I am more than capable of handling whatever the day will bring.

How does this compare to how you start your day? 

Most hit the snooze button on the alarm clock, race out of bed to the shower, drink their coffee as they drive to work, etc… How can a day go smoothly if it starts off with pure madness? The tempo of starting a day by racing the clock programs our brain for hurriedness and leaves us feeling “too busy.”  If you notice, those who have figured out GSD rarely appear hurried or frantic yet they always seem to have a sense of purpose– it’s as if everything is a calculated movement.

The impact of changing ONE HABIT

8 months into changing my ONE HABIT, getting up at 4am, I was 25 pounds lighter, getting 10 hours of work done in 7 hours and able to walk away from the office at 5pm-5:30pm, allowing me to get home in time to have dinner with my family.  It’s amazing how little things like having dinner with the family every night can have a big impact on your life. I also began using my lunch break for a 2nd workout session and the rest is history. 7 years later I am now 40 pounds lighter, competed in over 50 triathlons in 4 countries – 4 Ironmans, 20+ Ironman 70.3s, tripled my income and the proud father of 5 kids under 9.  It’s a good thing I was “too busy” when I started this journey or things would seem crazy.

Who in their wildest dreams would have thought changing ONE HABIT could impact my life so greatly?

What ONE HABIT are you going to CHANGE?  Do it now and you’ll  never look back.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

The power of FORGIVENESS… Getting rid of the excess baggage and moving on with my life

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Forgiveness:  /fərˈɡivnəs/ noun – to stop feeling anger toward, to cease to feel resentment against, pardon

Scenario: Set afire by 15 year old neighbor’s child at age of 8.  Endured 35 surgeries over 33 years, incurring well over $2M in uncovered medical expenses in first 2 years.

The Power of Forgiveness

I learned at the age of 8 forgiveness is a powerful and empowering tool. There is not a day goes by I don’t look in the mirror and see a permanent reminder of what happened August 4, 1982.  Should I be angry?  Should I be angry my entire childhood involved kids staring and pointing at my scars – or that it still happens today?  Should I be angry it took over 3 years to regain use of my right arm and neck – or that I still have mobility limitations today?  Should I be angry I was left with uncovered medical expenses over $2 million?  Should my parents be angry their child was permanently disfigured and their life was forever altered due to the carelessness of a neighbor’s child?

 

Many would argue YES… we had every right to be angry.  I would argue a right to feel angry doesn’t mean you should.  What does it accomplish?  Would feeling angry take away my scars?  Would feeling angry take away the daily pain or give me confidence to feel at ease with my new self, scars and all?  NO, it wouldn’t do any of these.  To the contrary, it would only make the situation worse.  Accidents happen, whether minor or life changing, and no amount of blame is going to rectify the situation.

Unlike sports, there are no “do-overs”, “mulligans”, “foul balls” or “instant replays” in the game of life.  What happens happens and you have 2 choices. 

  1. Either accept the outcome and make the most of a bad situation
  2. Feel sorry for yourself and play the victim card

Luckily for me my faith and belief in God plays a pivotal role in my forgiveness of what happened that day.  I know everything happens for a reason and that reason may not be clear to me, or to anyone, but it will be revealed one day.  It is that belief that all things happen for the good of HIS glory that I accepted my tragedy and decided to make the most of a bad situation. I can honestly say I NEVER recall feeling angry at the 15 year old or her parents.

I do recall being confused and asking God “why me”, “what did I do wrong”? 

I shed many tears crying myself to sleep wondering if life would ever be the same, wondering if I’d ever play sports again, wondering if I’d ever be able to have a girlfriend – someone willing to overlook the scars and see me for who I am.  Over many months and even years, those tears hardened me and forged my resolve… my resolve and conviction God had a special purpose for my life and it was up to me to fulfill.  No excuses, no self-pity… just acceptance, perseverance and the will to never give up.

“Guess what?  I didn’t give up, I didn’t make excuses and I didn’t feel sorry for myself.” I looked around and saw hundreds of other kids who would die to have the opportunities I had been given.

How did I Forgive?

Hospitalized for 3 months initially and countless weeks over the last 33 years, I have seen my fair share of tragedy.  I have seen kids with no limbs, faces without noses/ears/eyelids/lips, bodies bound to wheelchairs… and yet these kids still smiled and greeted each day with joy and happiness.  I have seen firsthand no one is immune to tragedy – mine just happened to be physical whereas many suffer from emotional tragedy.  The more you experience life the more you realize we all deal with tragedy and it’s what unites us in a common bond.  We have to embrace it, recognize it for what it is and what we will become as a result.  It is our ability to overcome (and forgive) that defines us.

People always ask “how did you forgive her”? It’s easy.  I just say it was an accident and accidents happen. 

I have made hundreds of mistakes in my life and fortunately none have permanently impacted the lives of others. But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have. I was just lucky they didn’t. It’s easy to look at our lives and be proud of ourselves and our accomplishments but too often we forget about the “what ifs” that didn’t materialize.

Step 1: I realized early the questions and doubts in my life surrounding my burns only impeded my recovery and intensified my inferiority complex.  One of the first steps I did was focus on reshaping how I saw myself.  I knew as long as I saw myself as a “burn victim” I would always be just that in the eyes of others.  Instead, I wanted to be known as an athlete so I focused on getting back to competing in sports. Two months after being discharged from the hospital I played baseball, although I was unable to lift my right arm above 90 degrees or hold my head up straight.  I wasn’t an All-Star by any means but I was out there every game, competing with everything I had. However, 6 years later I did make the traveling All-Star team.  I also managed to become an All American wrestler in high school, an undefeated boxer in college and currently a 3X All American triathlete.

Step 2: I realized my being burned was no excuse for not being successful in life.  In reality, everyone deals with adversity that could be used as an excuse for not realizing their full potential. If I wanted to make something of myself I realized I had to do it, no one was going to do it for me.  I also knew the road ahead would be tough – years of rehab and the acceptance that I’d have to work 5x as hard as anyone to just do what comes natural for most.

I had to embrace success wouldn’t happen overnight and I’d have to measure my success based on my goals – not what everyone else was doing. 

21 years later I married the perfect woman for me and who would bless me with 5 amazing kids.  Fueled by doubters, I also climbed the corporate ladder and became part of the top tier of income earners in the country.

Who would have thought a 1 eared burn guy would be great at sales?  No one would, which is why I’ve been successful.

If you want a life of no burdens, no excess baggage due to blame and anger, forgive those who have wronged you and move on.  Life’s too short to be angry!  You control your destiny and to let others impact your happiness is just crazy talk.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

The power of AUTHENTICITY… building confidence without being the Cool Kid

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Admissions: I AM NOT a model, a tall man or even a man of average height. I AM NOT a great athlete or ever mistaken for one. I AM NOT a brilliant individual nor have delusions of becoming one. I DO NOT always make the most politically correct statements and don’t always speak the truth.

Affirmations: I AM a dedicated, faithful husband and father who is hanging on to his deeply, receding widow’s peak but will never adopt a comb-over. I AM a man who can fly coach with plenty of leg room and proud that I can wear an off-the-shelf Banana Republic slim fit “small” suit.  I AM a voracious reader, smarter than the average Joe, surround myself with people way smarter than myself and an extreme industrialist.  While I inherited no superior athletic genes, I AM one hell of a competitor and refuse to ever give up.  I ALWAYS tell people what’s on my mind, no hidden agendas, and you can believe at least 98.3% of what I tell you.

To be authentic… what does that mean?

Is “genuine” the first word that comes to mind? Perhaps “original” is more applicable if you’re the creative type.  Regardless of your choice, when applied to your moral compass, all words speak of being true to yourself – fully embracing all your faults and shortcomings and having no misconceptions about your abilities.  Let’s be honest, very few of us have what it takes to become professional athletes, fashion models, neuro surgeons or even great cooks in our own homes… and that’s OK.  That’s the way we were designed, with our unique skill sets and abilities, however unusual they may be.

WHAT IF you could suddenly be comfortable with all your defects, shortcomings and general idiosyncrasies and be at ease?  Does it even sound possible? IT IS POSSIBLE if you believe that you, and you alone, have the power to change how you feel about yourself.  People only see what you project of yourself.  If you truly believe you are the best version of yourself, regardless of how you compare to your peers, it will show in your daily walk and people will want to be around you.

Unapologetically YOU

Example: The burn scars covering 65% of my body are very noticeable and people’s facial expressions reinforce that reality. The fact I have a prosthetic ear is also noticeable, especially during triathlon season when I’m slimmer and there’s a ¼” gap between my ear and my face. I learned over 30 years ago my scars were permanent, prompting me to quit trying to hide the scars after spending my entire childhood hoping others wouldn’t notice.  Instead, as I accepted my new self and came to terms with the finality of my scars, I decided to adopt crazy stories detailing outlandish feats of defying death, leaving unbeknownst listeners stunned.

  1. Tossed overboard by a big wave while shark fishing. I survived the shark attack despite the shark ripping off my ear and taking a big chunk out of the right side of my body.
  2. Attacked by piranhas after capsizing my canoe in the Amazon. I survived but nearly bled to death on my 10 mile hike back to camp.
  3. Only survivor of a plane crash in the mountains. I survived but it was a close call as I endured the elements waiting on a rescue party.

*Facebook followers often read of crazy ear antics, even those involving unsuspecting TSA employees in my attempt to give them a little excitement.  

So many people are scared of being rejected by the world for being who they really are.  To mask those fears, they seek to emulate glamorous lifestyles seen in magazines or on TV – changing their wardrobe, changing their hair, getting tattoos and sometimes even changing the people they associate with.  The song “Cool Kids” by EchoSmith accurately describes what every kid thinks…”

“She sees them walking in a straight line, that’s not really her style.

And they all got the same heartbeat, but hers is falling behind.

Nothing in this world could ever bring them down.

Yeah, they’re invincible, and she’s just in the background.

And she says,

 I wish that I could be like the cool kids,

‘Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.”

Should we really want to fit in? Fitting in makes grade school and high school easier but it doesn’t prepare us for the real world, where everyone is searching for their identity (authenticity) and trying their best to distinguish themselves from their peers.  It should be no surprise shows like GLEE and The Big Bang Theory are national sensations.  We can all relate to their struggles and the empowerment they feel by embracing their authenticity with their silent confidence and acceptance of their individuality.

 

Confidence

Many associate confidence with arrogance, pretentiousness or a false sense of reality.  To the contrary, true confidence is a manifestation of being comfortable in your own skin – accepting what you can and can’t do and knowing the difference. Confidence is what allows us to take on challenges even when all circumstances tell us we’re not adequately prepared. Who is to say who is “prepared” until you’ve tried?  Many able bodied and able minded individuals have failed to accomplish great things for fear of ever trying.  In contrast, many of our greatest leaders and change agents overcame insurmountable circumstances because they believed they could and were willing to commit themselves to doing so.

 

I am a firm believer confidence builds from learning and knowing your own potential, an introspective inventory of your strengths and weaknesses.  Who would have thought being burned, despite losing my ability to compete in sports that required “touch” and “grace” would prepare me for competing in sports that rewarded high tolerances for pain and mental toughness.  My confidence grew as I committed myself to more activities where my strengths could be leveraged to create positive outcomes (Ironman, wrestling). Conversely, I also learned to avoid activities where the cards were stacked against me and no amount of hard work or effort will alter the outcome (golf, tennis).  My confidence also grew from learning my greatest weakness (perceived) could actually be my greatest asset with the right mindset.

Example: Being successful in Sales requires the ability to be memorable and statistics have proven that tall men and attractive women do well in Sales…they’re memorable.  Alternatively, I have burn scars over 65% of my body and have only one ear (real ear that is).  People very quickly notice the scars and realize something bad happened.  Most would agree having scars over 65% of your body is not an ideal attribute to be successful in Sales. I beg to differ. How many tall men and attractive women do you know in Sales… a lot.

But how many one eared burn guys do you know in Sales? ONE… and his name is Shay Eskew.  Now who is memorable!

Confidence comes from embracing your weaknesses and proudly broadcasting them to the world.  You may be surprised, but most of the people we look up to have insecurities that will surprise you.  No one is immune to the feeling but embracing it will definitely set you apart from the crowd.

 

It is our authenticity that attracts people, not our ability to emulate what we see others do.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Day 1: Watching our 2yr old fight for her life… 10 days to be Thankful!

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It is often said you never truly appreciate life until you are about to lose it.

As someone who nearly died at the age of 8 due to being set afire by a neighbor’s child, I can assure you I have a new appreciation for the blessings in my life… the ability to walk, the ability to lift my right arm over my head and just the ability to even bathe myself. Introduced to pain and the unfairness of life at an early age, I can honestly say I have always looked forward to each day with enthusiasm and the chance to make a difference in the world. I can also say:

there is nothing I have wanted more in life than to have a wife, kids of my own, and the ability to give them the ability to see life through my eyes…see life for the daily miracles we are given.

Death is natural and we all know it will take us all one day or another, but we assume it will take us before our children. As a parent, there is nothing more sacred in our life than our kids. There is nothing we wouldn’t do to prevent the suffering of our kids but we all soon realize we can’t take away all the bad things in this world. Instead, we have to rely on our faith to guide us through these moments of despair to help us embrace these soul searching times for the stronger individuals we and our children will become. This Thanksgiving, I am sharing the 10 days of our dramatic journey as we watched our little Stella fight for her life.

Each day brought us closer to God and affirmed our belief that things work out for those who keep the faith.

Day 1: June 10, 2016 (actual Facebook post)

Prayers needed please! Our sweet little Stella suffered a severe seizure yesterday lasting over 2 hours and was finally stabilized late last night at Vanderbilt. She’s still on the ventilator in an induced comma as she also incurred aspiration pneumonia during the seizure. They’re working around the clock with meds to get her lungs healthy enough to breathe fully on their own. We’ve been assured she shouldn’t suffer long term effects and know we’re in good hands.

We’re extremely blessed and a miracle in itself that Brooke was sitting beside Stella when it happened and didn’t panic – she’s always amazing in intensely stressful situations. Also extremely thankful I was almost home and able to be there although I will never forgot the image of my sweet baby laying there lifeless on our floor with EMTs working frantically to stabilize her. As a parent you’d do anything to prevent one ounce of suffering by your kids but you do trust God’s will and mercy heals all pain. Thanks in advance for your prayers. Little Stella is a fighter and we know she’ll bounce back.

Stayed tuned for the next 9 days of being Thankful!!!

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.