Learning how to be an athlete: 5 steps to achieving the impossible.

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Athlete – something almost every child aspires to be for one reason or another. For some it’s to be famous, others it’s to fulfill the wishes of their parents and for many it’s simply because they love the feelings they experience from pushing themselves to the limit. Being an athlete doesn’t mean you have to be a professional athlete and rely on your athletic talents for an income. I have met many athletes who will never earn $1 from their performance but yet their ability to compete with their unique talents has inspired millions.  I firmly believe being an athlete transcends sports headlines and what we see on ESPN.  The ability of an athlete is not measured by their performance…its measured by their heart – their ability to make the most of their God given talents.

Human perfection

The pursuit of human perfection is something that has fascinated mankind since the beginning of time, continuously seeking to push the human body to its limits, redefining what’s humanly possible.

Just 61 years ago the thought of running a 4 minute mile was deemed physically impossible.  The attainment of The Perfect Mile (Neal Bascomb) played out in world headlines in the battle between Englishman Roger Bannister, American Wes Santee and Australian John Landy.  In his epic performance on May 6, 1954, Bannister redefined what was humanly possible with his 3:59.4 record mile.  Bannister’s performance was more than just another world record.  His performance arguably reshaped the mindset of human performance, allowing people to break through the realm of impossibility.  Just 10 years later, high school runner Jim Ryun bested Bannister’s performance and the 4 minute mile is now “the standard” for middle distance professional runners.  Like most things in life, it just takes one person to prove it’s possible to start a paradigm shift.

The adoption of ‘anything is possible’ is not limited to those who set world records.  It also belongs to those who have overcome unfathomable obstacles just to earn the opportunity to compete.  I’d like to introduce you to Kyle and Brent Pease, athletes, brothers first and foremost, and their journey to competing in triathlons is nothing short of miraculous and awe inspiring.

Kyle was diagnosed at an early age with cerebral palsy, suffering from loss of sensation and use of all his limbs.  As debilitating as this disease is, it hasn’t prevented Kyle from leading a productive and normal life.  Kyle graduated from college with a “B” average, currently holds 4 jobs and competes in Ironman triathlons with his brother Brent – if he doesn’t embody an overachiever I’m not sure who does.  I had the good fortune to meet Kyle last week in Boulder, CO as we are both ambassador athletes for Newton Running (Ambassador athletes are chosen based on their love for the sport and ability to inspire others).  As Kyle was sharing his story with the team, I couldn’t help but linger on his comment “I had to learn how to be an athlete.”  This gave me pause and my athletic career began to play out in my head.

Kyle so succinctly described what I had been doing since I was 8 – learning how to become an athlete.  Our bodies (Kyle and mine) had been transformed into what many would describe as atypical athlete bodies.  Not having the full use of your limbs is quite an obstacle and requires extensive rewiring of your brain to adapt…and adapt we did.  As I heard Kyle describe what he had to endure to learn how to participate with his brother in endurance events, I reminded myself how easy we take the most basic things for granted – like walking to the bus stop, holding a tooth brush or even dressing ourselves.  The basic things are not so basic for Kyle.  His ‘can do attitude’ is the same grit and determination that produces Olympic champions.  The only difference is those athletes were graced with a body to match their mental resolve.

Does the lack of a flawless body make Kyle any less of an athlete? 

Is he not doing things with his body that most deemed impossible? 

Ever since I was burned at 8, I wanted nothing more than to become an athlete.  Although my body was ridden with scars and I physically couldn’t lift my right arm over my head for 3 years, all I wanted was a chance to compete and prove myself.

I truly believed that by competing, and by competing I mean playing by the same rules with no special considerations for my injury, I could escape the pain of my injury and be a normal kid for those 2 hours.  Soon after the games ended, reality came crashing down and I was left to deal with my scars and physical deformity.  It soon became my resolve to redefine how others would perceive me.  I would no longer let them see me as ‘the burn kid’, the helpless kid who wore compression suits and plastic orthotic braces on his face, neck and torso.  I vowed to commit myself relentlessly to learning how to be an athlete, accepting whatever pain and sacrifice that entailed.  In my head, I knew no sport could ever inflict physical pain worse than what I had already experienced or mental pain worse than constantly being the subject of stares and whispers everywhere I went.  I knew my injury had robbed my ability to compete in sports that required finesse and touch (like golf, tennis, basketball) but it had also transformed my body for competing in physically demanding sports that rewarded high thresholds of pain (like wrestling, boxing, triathlons).  Looking back, I have been extremely blessed and have been fortunate to compete in 7 triathlon world championships, 3 state wrestling team championships and 3 boxing title championships.  In the last 33 years, I have learned what it takes to be an athlete.

5 steps to becoming a true athlete

  1. The ability to achieve unfathomable feats starts with the belief “it’s possible.” You must believe there is nothing you can’t do if you’re willing to do the hard work.
  2. Being a great competitor outweighs being a great athlete. Great competitors never grow tired of hard work and are always willing to do whatever it takes to be successful.
  3. Adversity is the stepping stone for success. A commitment to learn from every experience, good and bad, will produce desired long term results.
  4. Set realistic expectations and don’t measure success based on 1 race or even 1 year. Measure success by year to year improvement and growth in the sport.
  5. Most importantly, compete because you love competing…win or lose. When you lose the love for competing, change sports.

Competing is an individual thing.  For many, competing means showing up and participating.  For others, myself included, competing means giving it everything you got, every play, every minute and never quitting regardless of the score.  It’s not about the medal but whether you gave it everything you had.  Not everyone is a winner, and I love winning more than anyone, but there is also a great satisfaction in knowing you gave it everything you had and there was nothing more you could have done.  It’s all about running your perfect race.  Everything else will fall into place.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

3 attributes of successful people. Having nothing is the best formula!

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There is a lot of truth to how can you appreciate success if you never felt failure and how can you appreciate victory if you never felt defeat.   There is extensive research documenting some of the greatest success stories were and continue to be motivated by the drive to overcome status quo, which for many was rock bottom.  Our country was built on this premise and it’s what defined us as a nation.  People came to this great nation in search of an opportunity to prove themselves, with no assurances other than a chance at a clean start.   Somewhere over the evolution of time we have come to believe pain, suffering and even sacrifice are something to be avoided.  The game of life rewards those who accept adversity and use it as motivation to be successful. In most success stories, you will find common themes:

  1. Adversity. Hunger for a change. Realization the current situation won’t achieve their goals.
  2. Opportunity. Recognition of life changing situations. Belief hard work pays off.
  3. Charity. Understanding life is bigger than just themselves. Recognition we all had help.

Adversity

Adversity is a common thread uniting us all.  Pain and the desire to remove it is one of the greatest motivators for changing behavior and habits.  People don’t change without a reason or motivator.  They change because their current situation is painful and/or not in alignment with their goals – whether they’re living paycheck to paycheck or they need to lose 50lbs.  Never was adversity more evident than in early industrialists such as Andrew Carnegie who started out as a poor Scottish immigrant and later amassed over $330B (inflation adjusted).  Our lifetime has witnessed the building of a media empire by Oprah Winfrey, molested as a child and so impoverished that she wore dresses made of potato sacks.  Hard to imagine this 13 year old runaway would later amass a fortune valued at $2.7B.  Imagine a life without the contributions of a poor Brooklyn housing child Howard Schultz, the son of a truck driver, who would later bring the Starbucks experience of $3 gourmet coffees and $4 lattes to over 16,000 locations worldwide. These stories of success were fueled by passion…passion to escape the hardships of their life and redefine the status quo.  Had Andrew, Oprah or Howard (insert hundreds of rags to riches stories) been born with a silver spoon, I am confident we would not know their names.

Opportunity

Opportunistic is a word you will never find in any MBA curriculum but it is the cornerstone of every entrepreneur’s success story.  From my early days working in the Venture Capital industry I will never forget the wisdom of our managing principal,

“Our investments in startup companies are largely based on the executive leadership team and their ability to deal with the inevitable hard times.  Ideally, these companies should have owners who have experienced losing it all and perhaps even more than once.”

The statement caught me off guard as I had always been taught to align yourself with winners.  But what I didn’t know at 24 was that most winners in corporate America have experienced their fair share of losses and were able to leverage those experiences into success.  As is true in most of life, sometimes the biggest key is knowing what not to do.  The management teams we targeted were opportunistic…continually putting themselves in situations where they would either make it big or fail.  After a few of those make it or break it experiences, they learned the critical paths to success.  Some of our greatest entrepreneurs spent a lifetime refining their success model.  Look at the story of Ray Kroc, founder of McDonalds.  After losing his marriage and nearly the entire franchise, Ray finally realized the real money in franchising was in controlling the real estate.

Or look at Henry Ford, father of the assembly line and mass production.  It was Ford’s commitment to lowering costs that jump started the concept of automobiling, allowing the common person to experience the luxury of automobile ownership (in 8 years, price dropped from $21,650 to $7,020 – CPI adjusted).  However, many aren’t aware it was his machine apprenticeship training him to take over the family farm that provided the exposure to the Westinghouse portable steam engine and jump started his career.  Ford and Kroc realized opportunity when they saw it and had the perseverance to stay the course even when times got tough.

Charity

Being Charitable is a responsibility that often develops as a byproduct of success.  Some go into business with a passion for a greater good but many give back as a result of the help they’ve received in their rise to the top.  Regardless of acknowledgement, every successful person has been the recipient of generosity and unwarranted help, whether it be the 1st job we were unqualified to get or a teacher/coach investing extra time in us as they saw something special. Giving back is in vogue and at an all-time high, even garnishing such prestigious titles as “NFL Walter Payton Man of the Year Award”.  The story of NFL All Pro Warrick Dunn, whose mother was gunned down by 3 armed robbers while a senior in high school, is truly inspiring.  Despite losing his mother and suddenly forced to provide for his 5 younger siblings, Dunn started his Homes for the Holidays charity immediately upon being drafted into the NFL to honor his mother.  His program has assisted over 115 single mother families attain home ownership.  It is my opinion that those who have experienced great adversity are often the biggest contributors to society through their stewardship.  The generosity of Dunn, Carnegie and Winfrey are nothing short of awe inspiring.

As you map out your path to greatness see how you measure up to the 3 big attributes.  We all face adversity, just in different ways – some physical, some emotional and some spiritual.  We all have access to life changing opportunities; many of us just don’t recognize them when we see them or we’re scared of the hard work and lack of certainty.  Lastly, charity is something we are all capable of whether it be time or talents.  It has been my personal experience the more I give of myself, the more blessings I receive.  A giving heart doesn’t require a big checkbook, just a commitment to make a difference in the lives of others.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Don’t be “GOOD”, be “MEMORABLE”! 4 steps to becoming a Top Performer

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Getting ahead in today’s world involves a lot of variables: talent, hard work, timing, knowing the right people and luck. All overachievers work hard on being good at what they do. They pride themselves on being the “go to” person, always having the right answer, believe working long hours is the key, often working even when they should be spending time with their family. Paying your dues and learning the business is important, but what’s really important is being MEMORABLE. We are all surrounded by equally talented people that are “good” at what they do. There are a lot of really smart people out there. But if you want to separate yourself from the pack, you have to be someone that other people want to be around and want to work with. Face it, we live in a team environment and engaging and working well with others is how companies grow and execute.

If you look around your office, the Top Performers are usually not the smartest folks – they usually have super smart people around them. They’re Top Performers because they’re MEMORABLE. They’re memorable because they have learned to distinguish themselves from others by:

1. Being genuine.

They don’t try to be someone they’re not. They don’t pretend to be the rock star who is a world traveler with the exciting weekend excursions and fancy sports car. They’re comfortable in their own skin and don’t need the affirmation of others to feel good about themselves. People respect genuineness, it’s a rare trait in today’s world of ‘keeping up with the Joneses.’ I’ve learned you can drive a 12 passenger commercial van as your family vehicle and still rock it. It’s how your carry yourself and the ability to embrace your situation that defines how others perceive you. My family is memorable because we are easily recognized by our big NV3500 van and crew of 5 kids under 8. Embrace your individuality and be comfortable in your own skin; you don’t have to hide your imperfections.

I learned as a kid embracing my shortcomings allowed people to feel like they really knew me and made me memorable. For most, I was the only burn survivor they knew and it was a deformity few had seen firsthand. They knew I was not impacted by things I had no control over (my burn scars, having 1 ear, being short) and felt at ease being around me. I tell people jokingly that I shop in the kids departments because the little boys’ suits are so much cheaper. I spent my entire college years working on beefing up, building the big chest and biceps (the gun show as they say). After I got married, I realized no one cared. Now I tell people my goal is to be built like a 12 year old – being skinny is extremely helpful competing in my triathlons. People love those who are self-deprecating. It allows them to relate and bond knowing you are just fine with all your imperfections. If you think about it, the funniest comedians are never runway models. Trust me, people are never as perfect as they seem – some are just better at hiding it than others.

2. Being passionate.

They’re not afraid for people to know who they are and what they stand for. People in business often feel the need to put on fronts, fearful of people knowing their personal life. I openly tell people that I’m married with 5 kids and a man of God. I am proud of that and want people to know what’s important in my life, my moral compass. As someone in sales, I often see other sales executives trying to flirt their way into a contract. It makes me laugh. I couldn’t imagine building a career reputation as someone who relies on good looks and promiscuous behavior to be successful. The way I approach sales is would I be comfortable if someone filmed my sales approach and showed it at a conference for others to watch. Would my wife or kids approve?

Don’t be scared to share with people your passions. People respect those motivated by things in life other than money, those driven by a higher purpose whether it’s playing the piano, coaching your kids in little league or learning a foreign language. Not everyone pursues their passions and most respect those who do. By sharing your passions, you may be able to help others get started pursuing their passion and help keep them accountable. A big passion of mine is fitness and I absolutely love helping others realize how easy it is to get into shape. People don’t forgot those that help them achieve their life goals. I’ve always been amazed what the human mind and body can do and wish everyone could experience it firsthand – it’s invigorating.

3. Being generous.

They have learned a kind heart is a quick path to success. Helping others and asking nothing in return is a rare trait these days and will truly make you memorable. Giving of your time or talent is the greatest gift you can give and usually offers satisfaction way beyond what you’ve given. Personally, I receive 2x-3x in blessings for what I have given of myself although that is never my intent.

Little things have the biggest impact. Remembering a peer’s birthday with a cupcake or handwritten card goes a long way towards showing you care. Giving of your time is even better, something that is always in big demand but short in supply. I am one that tries to always make time to grab a cup of coffee with someone when asked. Granted, I’m not in a position like some of my clients who get 20 requests a day. I agree to meet with those who are genuinely looking for insight into what I do or looking for advice. I have been the recipient of great guidance over the years and try to help those looking for secrets to jumpstart their life. You never know when that one person makes it big and maybe because you took 20 minutes out of your day. Most people want nothing more than for someone to talk to, feel heard and genuinely appreciated for their contributions. We all want to feel special and we all have the ability to make others feel that way. Your generosity and ability to do small things to enhance the lives of others will make you memorable.

4. Putting themselves out there.

They have learned the people we admire and remember in life, for better or worse, are the ones that truly go for it – put themselves out there to achieve something truly remarkable (Amelia Earhart, Earnest Shackleton, Jackie Robinson, etc…). We all love and admire risk takers and secretly wish we took more risks in our life. In their mind, failure only happens when they quit and give up on their dreams. The story of Earnest Shackleton is my all-time favorite. At first read of the Shackleton exploration, you’d deem it a failure, falling short of their mission to be the first to cross Antarctica from sea to sea. However, when you learn how he motivated and inspired his crew daily for the 2 years they were stranded in Antarctica and the fact no one died, you quickly realize why he is often regarded as the greatest adventurer in the history of the world and a role model of leadership.

For some reason, most people fear failure. They fear trying something new or really hard for fear they won’t be successful. In addition, most never share their goals in life for fear they’ll be judged if they don’t achieve them. I believe the opposite. Share your goals, let everyone know what keeps you up at night and gets your blood pumping. What you’ll find is that friends and even complete strangers will help you achieve your goal if they see you are truly ‘going for it.’ Everyone wants to be part of something bigger than themselves. I once met a complete stranger in Starbucks who ended up writing a check for $10,000 to help me compete in the Ironman World Championships – a life goal that few ever experience.

If you focus on being MEMORABLE, you will become a Top Performer. But you have to be memorable for the right reasons. Having a great product is important in business, but people buy from people. They do business with people they like and want to be around. It’s rare that a product sells itself. Being good at what you do helps, but being memorable is essential to becoming a Top Performer.

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

5 Lessons Learned: Working in a family business, the Underpants Run & 9/11

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Working with family is always a challenge, especially when it’s your dad and you’re 50/50 partners. It’s even more challenging when your dad is 55 with 35 years of industry experience and you’re 26 and fresh out of MBA School, having spent the last year working for a venture capital firm. Classic marriage of old school meets Generation X. He had the relevant industry experience and I had all the finance and operation solutions (or so I thought). My dad and I joked often how they never teach you in Business school how to grow a business with no working capital; they never teach you the business of ‘hustling’ and doing whatever it takes to keep the doors open.

We had a great 7 year run; managed to negotiate an extremely generous purchase price by a private equity firm and enhanced our coveted father/son bond. The experience provided invaluable life lessons that resulted in lots of long hours with no additional pay, headaches that often interrupted vacations, stressful father/son moments, and financial strains that permeated into personal affairs. Despite those challenges, I wouldn’t trade them for a $1 Million, well maybe $1 Million but definitely not $100,000. Those 7 years provided something that can’t be measured in dollars. It allowed me to help my dad satisfy his lifelong dream of owning his own business and provided time with a man that I truly admire. In retrospect, perhaps dad’s dream should have been more specific to include owning a profitable business that ran itself. But what greater gift can a son give than that of himself, helping his dad pursue his dream? My dad is my hero and has always went out of his way to support and help me achieve my goals.

When we ventured into small business ownership together, I pledged an unconditional 3 years to make a run at it, to give it everything I had to see if it had legs as he suspected. Although we didn’t retire with loads of extra money, we proudly walked away having achieved milestones others never dreamed possible of this rag tag father/son combo in an industry dominated by big box retailers and low margins.

  • Doubled revenue 1st year and tripled sales year 2 with no credit facility
  • Popularized virtual inventory: one of the first supplier integrated cloud inventory ordering sites
  • Converted $20,000 of obsolete inventory into $300,000 of saleable merchandise
  • Reduced manufacturing costs by 50%, labor costs by 25%, and insurance costs by 40%.

Opposites attract:

My dad and I are almost polar opposites when it comes to running a business. If you’re a fan of E-Myth by Michael Gerber (actually made dad read the book when we bought the business), my dad is the classic technician and I the entrepreneur. He’s laid back and subscribes to the school “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He believes everyone should take pride in their work and be thankful they have a job. He’s the type of man that will never complain of what you ask him to do; he is no stranger to hard work and doesn’t believe any work is beneath a man. He also believes a handshake is as good as a credit card and if you just keep customers happy, the business will make money – sensitivity analysis was completely foreign. Prior to us buying the business, no one had taken the time to evaluate what customers were buying and why; meaning, were they buying from us because we were the only person who could supply the product or were they genuinely trying to give us more business.

I, on the other hand, am high energy and constantly looking for the next big breakthrough. Passion and perseverance are my greatest attributes. I don’t believe in failure and I have trouble understanding why others are scared of change. I believe a single store business can’t compete in a commodity driven environment if customers are allowed to make decisions based solely on cost. I believe our success was predicated on our ability to create the value proposition for our customers – fair price, quick delivery and quality product. I recognize most people don’t enjoy their work and constantly try to find ways to make their job more enjoyable by getting their buy-in with big decisions (engaged employee usually equals higher sales). I recognized very early that my dad’s vision and sense of reality for our company was completely different than mine and that was something I just had to accept. One of the most important things to recognize and appreciate in family owned/operated businesses is the dynamics of family members. There are some things you just can’t change and the refusal to recognize that creates misery for everyone. You have to embrace who you are and what your business is or will become.

I love my dad and would run through brick walls for him (as he would me). He is a role model father and true salt of the earth: works hard, honest, loves his kids unconditionally and goes out of his way to help those in need, even to his own detriment. Those same attributes don’t always align with running and growing a for-profit business. Amazingly, my dad believes everyone shares his morality and truly believes people will honor their word and do the right thing. The business world makes cynics out of us all, a lesson I learned quickly in my MBA program and one that my dad finally learned as we were swindled out of $35,000 in our first few months of operating (another story in itself). As Reagan said, “trust but verify.”

5 LESSONS WE LEARNED WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER:

1: Timing is everything

Dad and I had the good luck of buying the automotive remanufacturing company July 3, 2001, two months before 9/11. Even luckier, 1/3 of our business was airline related – we supplied brake boosters for Delta’s and Air Trans’ TUG equipment (carts that haul your luggage to the plane). Within a few weeks of 9/11, we received letters from the airlines stating they were unable to pay their bills and it would be 6 months before they could make payments towards those debts. In addition, they wanted to continue buying from us with the intent to pay in 6-9 months (interest free of course). Stuck between a rock and a hard place, and with no immediate ability to replace 1/3 of our revenue, we acquiesced and continued supplying them. It was a tough 6 months but we survived and still managed to double revenue that year. To offset the airline cash shortage, I reduced my salary to $10,000 and took a night job at Home Depot working in hardware 4 days/week (dad took a pay cut as well but different based on his situation). After the 6 months had passed, the airlines made good on their promise and I was able to hang up my Home Depot apron. Working at Home Depot provided some great insight into how they managed inventory and their philosophy on loss leaders, pricing, inventory turns, etc…

God takes care of those who believe and he rewarded our perseverance through 9/11 and those 7 years of always doing the right thing. Call it luck or divine intervention, we sold the business September 8, 2008 (a few days before the 2nd Great Depression). Even more miraculous was the buyer’s lender went bankrupt 5 days after the closing. Had our closing been postponed a week, as requested by the buyer, the deal would have went south and we would have been left with a company worth 40% less than the final purchase price. As the deal finalized, we received a market premium, negotiated a guaranteed 3yr employment contract for my father at a 30% pay raise and were able to pay all our creditors.

2. Cash is King

You always hear cash is king but it never truly sinks in until it’s your money. From a profit and loss standpoint, we were making good money with healthy distributor margins but were forced to plow every dollar back into the business to replenish our inventory. Even though we were taking very modest salaries, cash became strained as our big credit buying customers were paying 15 days on average after we were due to pay our suppliers. We paid our suppliers 2% net 30 to receive timely pay discounts. Luckily, I was able to shore up a majority of this gap by creating buying incentives for these customers based on ‘cash received.’ At first, we were naïve in accepting the old “check was mailed on XX and our check number is 1234” story. With no line of credit to access and having invested every $ we had to buy inventory, we were cash poor. By a miracle of God, we also increased our Do-It-Yourself (DIY) business to satisfy weekly cash needs, a market we had always shunned in the past.

3. Establish roles and responsibilities

Prior to buying the company, we talked in depth about ‘untapped’ opportunity but we were short sighted in mapping out each other’s role in seizing those opportunities. Mistakenly, we both formed our own assumptions without communicating to each other. My dad assumed he’d continue his former role of waiting on customers – inside sales, answering incoming calls and serving them as they walked in the door. I assumed I’d focus on operations and outside sales, but we’d jointly tackle strategy. Dad was perfectly content continuing in his former role as he really enjoyed working with customers and helping them solve their problems (and he was great at it). Me, I envisioned hiring/training others to wait on customers and our collective efforts to be focused on growing the business and expanding. Although my dad had been working in the industry for over 35 years, he had never been exposed to the back office operations and their impact on all business operations. Most small business owners underestimate the impact of aging receivables, ROI of marketing campaigns and the concept of time value of money. Most try to do everything in-house due to the cost savings (and usually by themselves because they don’t trust others with their money) and fail to seize growth opportunities because they’re too busy doing payroll, chasing slow paying customers, etc. – too busy working in the business instead of working on the business.

4. Agree on end goal: hobby or business

The typical mistake a small business owner makes is confusing something they’re very good at (a hobby) for something that is profitable and has growth potential (a business). It became apparent very early our single store location couldn’t support two owners at the salaries we were targeting, hence a major dilemma and was on the cusp of being labeled by outsiders as a hobby. Neither of us could have predicted 9/11 in our wildest dreams nor the impact it would cause.

The only way for the business to support both of us comfortably was through some economies of scale, meaning more stores, meaning more partners. This reality ran counter to my dad’s whole premise behind going into business – i.e. being his own boss and not having to answer to anyone else. He wanted to be in business for himself because for 35 years was tired of watching someone else make all the decisions that he felt ran counter to what he was seeing day in and day out. He truly believed that once he bought the business he could take advantage of the untapped opportunity. While some of his beliefs were well founded, he had overlooked the necessary assets required to make them happen (inventory and line of credit – both of which were essentially nonexistent). I made it very clear in the beginning this was a 3 year stint for me and in no way did I have plans on retiring at this company. My dad also made it clear that he wanted to work at this job until retirement. It also became obvious that the business was more than just a paycheck for him; it was a source of enjoyment. He was clearly more concerned about never letting the customer down than insuring the company made a sustainable profit. Me on the other hand, I was in it to be a part of something bigger than myself and create a legacy. That being said, our objectives were at crossroads and I was accepting of my dad’s vision.

5. Once you leave work, don’t talk about work

Father and son interactions at work are challenging to say the least. We were all raised to honor our father and not challenge their authority. In the business environment, this presents a direct conflict to the idea of having a partner that challenges you and is always looking out for what’s best for the company. I respect my father to no end, even if we differ on opinions. My disagreements had nothing to do with respect but rather a differing in philosophies on what’s best for the company.

One thing we both agreed on was not using “dad” and “son” references at work. I called him Rick and he called me Shay. At times it was awkward, but in the end it helped us establish our work relationship while maintaining our coveted father/son bond. We wanted to keep the environment at work professional and give our employees the assurance that we were running a legitimate business and not playing favoritism. On the same note, we agreed that once we locked the doors every night, not to talk about work and make amends for any temper flares at work. Trust me, it happened. As investors and 50/50 partners, I felt we should be comfortable saying anything to each other that we would say to a business partner, even if might hurt their feelings. And many times I did hurt my dad’s feelings and make him angry. Fortunately or unfortunately, my dad is not one to express his frustrations and usually just bottles it up. Often times, I could see him getting worked up and I’d keep pressing until I could get a response. I stressed to him that he could never hurt my feelings as I knew how he really felt about me. I assured him it was alright to get angry; it was his money too and his dream. You have to fight for what you believe if you truly believe it’s the right way. Fighting for what you believe doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind when presented with better information. I know I made him angry at times and I made sure I apologized afterwards. We both went out of our way to always make sure we understood why we were angry. Many a nights dad would follow me home and join my wife and I for dinner. I feel very fortunate to have experienced such an opportunity. How many sons had the same opportunity? You can’t put a price on those experiences.

The Next Chapter

My dad still works for the same company even though it was recently acquired by a large automotive group out of NY for 20 cents on the dollar (unfortunately our buyers didn’t continue our value proposition strategy and decide to compete on cost). His job is still intact, doing what he loves to do – talking to the customer and providing them solutions. With a noncompete in place, I made a transition to healthcare, business development specifically, and having the time of my life. I have since moved to Nashville and have 5 amazing kids under 8. Life couldn’t be much better. My dad in turn has 5 amazing grandkids who love their ‘poppy.’

All in all, we had a great run. We didn’t make a lot of money but we didn’t lose a bunch either. In the world of business, sometimes not losing your shirt is quite an achievement. We both feel very blessed for the time spent together. Looking back we cherish those 80-90 hour work weeks when we were struggling to keep the doors open. We cherish the times when everyone counted us out, family members included, and yet we still made things happen. I often give thanks to the good Lord for the opportunity working side by side with my dad in pursuit of his dream. As we learned, the journey is 98% of the satisfaction. We didn’t accomplish all that we wanted to but, more importantly, we have no regrets. We gave it everything we had and never gave up. And for that, we are both all the better. In 2012, my dad flew to Kona, Hawaii to support me competing in the Ironman World Championships. As further evidence of our bond, he joined me in the annual Underpants Run (cropped the pic to protect your eyes). A truly unbreakable bond!

ABOUT SHAY

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.

Hungry? Getting and staying on top.

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Want to grow your company/organization beyond your wildest dream… hire someone who is hungry! Hire someone who has waited their whole life for the chance to get in the game. You will recognize their hunger when you meet them; you can’t fake it. You can’t fake the experience of wondering if you will have enough money to pay the bills. You can’t fake the experience of losing everything, hitting rock bottom and then climbing your way out of the hole. You can’t fake the experience of working long hours on the weekend or on your vacation because you knew failure was not an option. You can’t fake the experience of foregoing vacations because the funds didn’t exist. You can’t fake the experience of spending years in and out of a hospital and dreaming of a day of no restraints. You can’t fake the experience of spending every waking hour proving everyone wrong…doing the unimaginable and doing it again and again.

Trust me, I’ve been there and wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world.

I’ve lost it all financially but I never lost it all emotionally or spiritually. I never questioned my desire to be successful… losing it all only made me hunger for it more. I bought an underperforming business 3 months before 9/11 and Delta and AirTran were our biggest clients. To keep the company afloat and meet payroll, I went without a paycheck for 6 months, working nights and weekends in the hardware dept at Home Depot after my 10 hour day. I will never forget my interview with the store manager. “I’m impressed someone with a MBA is willing to work for $10.50/hr.” “$12/hr and I can start tonight. My landlord doesn’t care about my degrees and I have no safety net.”

At the end of year 1, we doubled the company’s revenue and tripled revenue by the end of year 3. I eventually sold the company to a PE firm 9/12/2008 – talk about redemption. The education 9/11 provided exceeded my prized graduate program. No longer was I debating Harvard Case Studies. I was now making bets with my money and my family’s future. I learned first hand the value of GRIT, diversifying my client base and broadening my product offerings. I told my wife before we had 5 kids not to ever worry or lose faith in our plan. I assured her we “will always make it” even when everything is crumbling around us.

I didn’t just believe it, I KNEW IT.

I am extremely blessed to have been raised in a blue collar family – our first house cost $22,000. I learned first hand the value of hard work and success is reserved for those willing to do what others only talk about. I learned leadership starts with “doing” and not asking anyone to do a job if you’re not willing to do it first. I learned no job is beneath me and to always take pride in my job. I learned early to make many mistakes and be the first one to take ownership of them…don’t make excuses.  I learned someone who is hungry never forgets how to hunt.

If you climb the ladder of success and skip all the rungs in doing so, you have no clue what it takes to remain on top. So many take pride when they “made it” and take their foot off the gas. Not surprisingly, they don’t remain on top for long and look around asking “what happened, what did I do.” It’s easy, you didn’t do anything! I don’t care about getting “there”, I want to stay “there”. When you’re hungry and you’ve tasted success, you will do the hard work necessary to remain at the top. @TimGrover of #AttackAthletics summed it up great in “Relentless”.

About Shay

Shay is an All American and World ranked triathlete, burn survivor with scars over 65% of his body and is a sought out national motivational speaker. Despite being told he’d never compete in sports again at the age of 8, Shay is living testament to “Anything is Possible”: 4x Ironman, 4x member of Team USA, ranked top 1% of Ironmen worldwide and has competed in 9 triathlon world championships, including the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. His mantra has always been to not merely be a “finisher” but to be a “competitor.” If you enjoyed this article, I encourage you to check out my other posts.